A How-To On Commuting

  1. The wifi is always going to suck.
  2. If you don’t want people to sit next to you unless they’re absolutely forced to, pretend to be asleep. Or keep your hood up and look angry. Works like a charm.
  3. Don’t sit beside a sleeping passenger or someone with their hood up and an angry face- they don’t want you there.
  4. If you’re going to listen to your music on full blast for everyone to hear through your headphones, try listen to something decent. (I will never apologise for playing Avril Lavigne loud enough for my whole bus to hear.)
  5. Don’t be the person who listens to music without headphones.
  6. You have never slept in a more awkward position than the position you sleep in when commuting.
  7. If you sleep on public transport, someone is probably snapchatting you to their friends.
  8. If you’re the person snapchatting a sleeping stranger, at least try and be discreet about it.
  9. Don’t fall asleep on a stranger’s shoulder- from my own personal experience, this is not going to be a rom-com kind of moment where you end up falling in love and living happily ever after.
  10. Don’t sing along to your ipod. You’re not as quiet as you think you are.
  11. Bus farters are the worst kind of people.
  12. You’ll never stop getting annoyed when people’s bags hit you as they walk by and they don’t apologise.
  13. Apologise to people if your bag hits them as you walk by.
  14. If you’re clumsy, you are going to have many bruises from hitting the side of chairs when the bus/train is stopping.
  15. Keep in mind that people can see the screen of your laptop, and are well aware of your Facebook creeping.
  16. Early morning commutes will feel like death, but I promise you they’re not. Early morning commutes when there’s a crying baby will be what kills you.
  17. A fun activity is making faces at people in buses that have stopped alongside you. Do it, go wild.
  18. Make it look like you always have something to do to avoid awkward conversation with the person next to you/opposite you.
  19. If you have food, please ensure you know how to eat. What this means is, keep your mouth closed when chewing.
  20. You are more than likely going to have a bad experience with a Dublin Bus driver. Beware the 145.
  21. If you’re commuting for the year, make friends with people on campus or who have a house of some sort. They’ll let you stay and you don’t have to pay rent, what more do you want? (But be a kind soul and bring nice food when they let you stay)

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