How do I Leaving Cert?

  1. Be the cool kid who lies about how much study they’ve done, everyone loves that.
  2. No one, and I mean no one knows what the point of project maths actually is.
  3. If you listen closely, you can hear 6th years everywhere complaining about how unfair the Irish education system is.
  4. If someone is trying to tell you a certain subject is easy for the Leaving Cert, they probably didn’t do that subject in the Leaving Cert.
  5. The last few weeks of school are the most vital for revision, so it’s only fitting that you don’t go to the majority of your classes.
  6. Don’t trust people who work over the Christmas break.
  7. Guilt becomes a familiar emotion.
  8. When you’re not working but don’t feel guilty about it, you’ll feel guilty for not feeling guilty.
  9. The Leaving Cert Stone is kind to no one.
  10. You’ll go through a phase of doing literally nothing because you’re in 6th year and what’s the worst that can happen to you now, you have a Leaving Cert, surely that’s punishment enough. (Some of you will really struggle to escape this mindset).
  11. “I have a Leaving Cert to study for” is a common excuse you’ll use to get out of doing things.
  12. You will spend a lot of your time telling the 5th years to study now because you didn’t listen to the warnings last year and wished you did.
  13. You’ll quickly learn a comparative can be done in about 40 minutes. It’ll be done very badly, but it’ll be done nonetheless.
  14. The Sraith Pictiúrs will be the bane of your life.
  15. Despite having studied Irish for most of your life, you probably still don’t know if it’s spelt “pictúir” or “pictiúr”.
  16. The more tired you are, the louder the first years are.
  17. You’ll be more stressed about how you’re not stressing about exams while everyone else breaks down.
  18. The jam making course jokes are all well and good, but come CAO time, you will seriously consider putting it down.
  19. The stuff you’re learning every day, all the quotes and essays, that stuff is absolutely vital in the real world.
  20. I don’t think a single student has ever known all 5 poets going into their English exam.
  21. Some things are just never going to make sense to you, like the subjunctive tense or why you’re taking a Leaving Cert at all.
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