How do I nights out? (the Portlaoise edition aka the super classy edition)

  1. Avoid Egans. Just trust me on this.
  2. Walking in heels while drunk takes skill so congratulate every drunk girl in heels who can stay upright, that is a talent.
  3. If you’re pre drinking in someone’s house and are enjoying yourselves, don’t go out. It’s all only downhill from there if you do.
  4. If a girl says no, she means no. (This is a really simple concept to understand so can people please stop being a bunch of creeps).
  5. Look around and you will see many an old man lurking in the shadows of club, waiting to pounce. This is one of the many reasons girls move in packs – we have to protect each other.
  6. Spill your drink on a girl’s dress and my god are you in the bad books.
  7. Sober nights out can be just as fun as drunk nights out; you get to remember every embarrassing thing your friends did and use it against them forever.
  8. You will see things in the smoking area of club that may or may not scar you for life.
  9. Am I the only one who tries to act really sober when the bouncers walk by so they think ‘well at least this one’s respectable’?
  10. It hasn’t been a true night out until a girl cries.
  11. Don’t judge girls for getting emotional – drinking and reminiscing with friends is not a good mix.
  12. Sometimes we get emotional because our heels are hurting us. This is also something we would prefer you didn’t judge us for.
  13. You should just expect tears and accept them without judgement.
  14. You’ll never feel older than when you’re in club surrounded by people you could have sworn were in TY.
  15. Never hand your phone to a drunk friend.
  16. You can tell it’s been a good night if Mr Brightside wasn’t played but you still enjoyed yourself.
  17. Oh, you thought you hated One Direction? You will never sing a song more passionately than Best Song Ever when it gets played.
  18. The chicken tender meal in Supermacs after a night out is as close to heaven as any of us are getting.

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