Some helpful tips on being a girl from a girl who doesn’t know how to be a girl

  1. Face wash is essential – extra points if you’re smarter than me and use a bobbin. (It’s important to remember you won’t look as glamourous as all those girls on the telly when they’re washing their face)
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  2. And it’s not ever shown in those ads for face washes, but this happens.
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  3. Apparently, girls aren’t allowed have thicker eyebrows than men, so hello tweezers.
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  4. And hello pain.
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  5. Next, apply foundation while questioning if it’s making you look orange or if that’s just the light.
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  6. Powder. Powder everywhere.
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  7. Slap a bitta blush on. (Extra girly points if your blush looks like this.)
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  8. Use a million different shades of eyeshadow and pretend you know what you’re doing.
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  9. Put on that eyeliner with such confidence you forget you don’t know how to put on eyeliner. And then pretend the unmatched, too thick, smudged look was the look you were going for.
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  10. And then slap some mascara on or if you’re feeling super confident, use fake eyelashes. (The more ridiculous the face you make, the more girly points you get.)
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  11. Then let the 14 year old in you come out and take some classy selfies. (Remember to pout and make a face that shows the world you just woke up and this is you on a bad day)
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