Surviving the World Cup as a non-sports fan

  1. Don’t complain about the amount of tweets about it on twitter (let’s face it, sports fans had to deal with you when you live tweeted the Eurovision, it’s only fair)
  2. Don’t watch a match with a sports fan if you’re not ready to get as invested as them. Especially if said sports fan is someone you’re close to – you will see the relationship deteriorate before your eyes.
  3. You will witness emotions in the next few weeks you never thought a man could feel.
  4. Apparently, supporting a team because their jersey is your favourite colour isn’t how the game works.
  5. If you’re struggling to understand the game/the rules/the whole point in general just say things that sound like you know what you’re talking about e.g ‘oh no that player didn’t get the ball when he should have, what a shame’ or ‘riddle me this, fellow sports fans, if you’re not allowed tackle someone why did that handsome fellow tackle the other man?”
  6. (My father just informed me that those statements might make people want to punch you in the face)
  7. Man United are not a team that plays in the World Cup.
  8. If you’re like me, you also need to learn some teams that aren’t Man United.
  9. Prepare yourself for many a “jumping on the bandwagon” comments.
  10. If all else fails, just talk about how Wayne Rooney looks like Shrek.
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