A brief guide to being a good customer

  1. There’s this really cool thing called manners that’s really appreciated.
  2. Why are you taking your anger out on the cashier when you could be, oh I don’t know, acting like a decent person?
  3. If you’re that person who walks in 2 minutes until closing time, every single shop assistant is bitching about you.
  4. Oh you’re buying perfume/aftershave for your wife/husband but have literally no idea what they like and now you’re a little bit angry because I’ve been asking a lot of questions to try help? Allow me to recommend the most expensive perfume we have.
  5. Some questions are completely valid and I understand that you might feel stupid asking, but if you have to ask what 3 for 2 means there’s no hope.
  6. You know what’s really hilarious? Picking up an item and then deciding you don’t want it but leaving it in a completely different place, you can only imagine how much we love playing your weird game of hide and seek.
  7. It’s a little awkward for both of us when you’re buying condoms.
  8. I have uttered the words “you can only use the advantage points on your card if it covers the cost of what you’re buying” and had people get mad at me for it. I cannot apologise enough for rules I don’t make.
  9. Saying thank you goes a very, very long way in retail (I already mentioned manners but I’m mentioning it again because it can really cheer a cashier up).
  10. If you’re telling me to hurry up because you have a bus to catch or some other place to be, trust me, I’m going as fast as I can – if you’ve told me to hurry up, I want you gone as fast as possible too.
  11. Just generally remembering that people who work in retail (or any kind of job) are also humans with real feelings is a really nice thing.
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